Middleton Sport Bowl

Middleton Sport Bowl
6815 University Avenue, Middleton WI
Date of Curd Tasting: 20DEC2013

To set the scene: We were craving fish fry, and had The Dorf Haus on our minds, but friend XTC was skeered of the icy roads, and Schnapps was skeered of Cheezaholic’s vow to wear her German dirndl dress. We had received a recommendation for curdz in a hometown joint, so decided to head to the local bowling alley.  We sat down, looked around, and immediately felt young and hip thanks to the clientele, plus the Loverboy cranking on the juke box. We were ready for some curdz.

Menu description:
Hand Battered Chz Curdz. $5.50
Schnapps ordered the curdz, but waffled on the questioning, so Chz jumped in and asked the waiter if he knew which dairy the curdz came from. “No, I don’t.” was his short answer. Chz proceeded to stare him down until he added: “I could try to find out”. XTC chimed in: “Yes, you should REALLY try to find out.” We all giggled nervously. He returned with this perplexing report: “We get a big block and cut them here. We don’t have a big block at the moment, so I can’t tell where they are from.” They cut the chz? What? Every homegrown Wisconsinite knows that this is not how a true curd is born!

Square "Curdz"

Square “Curdz”

Taste…4
Upon first sight, they were just as the waiter described. Perfectly uniform, giant cubes of chz. They tasted good…clearly a quality chz, but they definitely didn’t taste like curdz. Very chewy…representative of a fully matured chz, vs a tender morsel of chz luv that is a curd. A heated debate ensued. Should we immediately terminate the review? Should we add an asterix to the score? Why did they have to be so damn yummy? We decided to persevere.

Color…orange
The classic.

Inside the Block

Inside the Block

Greaziness….3.5
A bit over the grzy line. Schnapps postulated that this was in part due to the natural grzy nature of a giant block of cheddah.

Twin "Curd" Phenomenon

Twin “Curd” Phenomenon

Breading…4
Crispy and nicely browned on the edges. A bit thicker than ideal. Minor chz bleed. Two instances of twin “curd” phenomenon.

Ranchy

Ranchy

Condiment…Ranch
Thin and tasty, with good “curd” coating consistency.

Value…3.5
$5.50 for a good size order. We are always willing to pay for fried chz in any form, but questioned the false advertising (ie. claim of a curd), and felt a bit swindled.

Total…15
These. Are. Not. Curdz. The irritation level increased when they cut a Billy Squier song right in the middle to play Rockin’ Around the Christmas Tree. As curdz purists, we would not order these “curdz” again. However, we would eat them if you ordered them, scoffing and ridiculing loudly the entire time, as we shovel them in.

 

 

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